i'm really not one of those people who blogs about their relationship issues or which girl is bitching about me etc. i mean, these things are good for a gossip session but i wouldn't be bothered to rant about it and waste cyberspace.
but now, RIGHT NOW, i am fuming mad and i just need an outlet. and i'm typing this on my trusty S2 because my (abused) laptop takes forever to start up and i just wanna rant while it's fresh.
WARNING: this entire post will be WORDY. any person(s) mentioned who sounds familiar is/are prolly someone you know through me.
so the cause of my bitching today is *drumroll* the ex-boyfriend. i am but majorly pissed off because i've had enough of his nonsense. let me begin with how it ended.
our relationship was a 2-year rollercoaster yadayada you know how it is. it went downhill when i eventually got really emotionally drained from having to make decisions in the relationship all the time. i mean for God's sake i'm a girlfriend not his frickin mother. i got sick of his constant dependence on me, be it checking for information via a phone call, or speaking to the damn service staff in english, or writing a damn letter to ministry of manpower. so i made the final decision to cut ties as a couple. of course we all know it's almost impossible to remain as friends but we're humans right, we persist to be optimistically in denial.
initially it went well, what with him saying he understood and blahblahblah which of course he didn't. he texted me every other hour, everyday, as he always did, just omitting the terms of endearment. i naturally got annoyed and i can't really recall what happened but we got into an argument. thank God, because i sure as hell can't handle amicable stupidity.
so anyway. at one point of the argument, my dear thick-headed jerk of an ex made a comment about me, of course, but he made it in reference to bringing my family into the argument, which honestly in my opinion was absolutely unnecessary! i got more mad (because he picked my work day to come argue with me, no less) and ignored him from then.
guess what? after he jeered and sneered at me, he texted me THE NEXT DAY and said "hope we're still friends." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
anyway i've been ignoring him since, i think that was last september? on and off ever since that day i will think about what happened and there will always be a teeny part nagging at the back of my head that i'm a cruel cold-hearted bitch and i will prolly be single for the rest of my life and the life after. but i never regretted my ignoring him, even though he will text like every other day, things like "how are you, Cal?" and i'll always feel irritated and be tempted to reply "no i died like 16 times today thanks for asking" but i thought i'd not give him the satisfaction of getting a response from me.
so why this rant, you ask? why dedicate an ENTIRE post to a has-been? now that i'm thinking about it, he should be honored too, because he would be the first i'm bitching about on my personal blog.
now let me first list down what i'm pissed about. the few reasons why i'm refusing to forgive him as a person. first off, he offended me by bringing my family into our argument. unwritten rule: NEVER use the trust i give you as leverage to threaten me.
and then there was that mood swings he had. one day he would be all like "hi how are you" and another day he would be like "why you scared to talk to me". it's annoying, and it's childish.
next on the list. he grovelled. now you're gonna say imma mother bitch because he grovelled so why am i still annoyed. because he said how he's been drinking and smoking ever since we broke up and if only i would take him back because i'm "the only one who can stop me from smoking".
bitch please, don't hang your burdens on me. did i force that cigarette down your throat?? please. enough of the emotional blackmailing already.
but wait, there's more. when all of above didn't work, he said his "final words" and..get this, he deleted me off facebook and blocked me on twitter! *gasp* please la got so drama anot.
so tell me, with all of that happening, was i wrong to ignore him to move on with my own life? well it's been a good few months and i thought, okay this is nice, no more drama, he moved on, i might not need to go to hell for being the cruel cold-hearted bitch. you know what they say about good things don't last.
a couple of hours ago i received a facebook notification that he has sent me, naturally, a friend request. seriously now, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
to be honest, i did make idle thoughts about how long he's gonna take to come around and send that request but i didn't expect him to prove me right yet again.
so i am angry. i am very, very, very angry because this is like a game to him. what the fuck does he take me as, a fucking toy he can pick or dump at his whimp? well obviously he has not grasp the gravity of the situation. yes, i am very soft-hearted. but this, this i will make exception for.
well then, this is what i will tell you. this blog post is about you, but this is definitely NOT about me still pining for you. i've typed this entire chunk of words because i want to make it clear to you and also as a reminder to myself that i will continue to ignore you and why. it's time you realise that some words you say, you can never take back.
and this is to whoever reading this, if you're STILL reading, omg thank you for bearing with me! i think all the typing and thinking did me some therapeutic good.
goodnight and here's to better days. :)
